A totally inappropriate ranking of the top 4 U.S. presidents
This is my politically incorrect Mount Rushmore
You can quote me on this…
Perfection can’t be legislated, but mistakes can be. — Perry Willis
This is why I judge past presidents by how little harm they did as opposed to how much they pretended to help.
Presidential activism is the crappy standard employed by most historians and political “scientists” when ranking presidents. I vastly prefer inaction as the best measure of political greatness.
If you like inappropriate thinking and writing, please subscribe to make sure you don’t miss a single inappropriate morsel. To wit…
The 4th best U.S. President is…Warren G. Harding
He served for 2 years, 4 months, and 29 days.
While in office he had inappropriate sex in White House closets and failed to notice that some of his appointees were robbing the nation blind (see the Tea Pot Dome scandal). But, for the most part, he did little to inflict new horrors on the American people. He also served the fourth shortest term in office.
The 3rd best U.S. President is…Zachary Taylor
He served for 1 year, 4 months, and 5 days.
Taylor was an Army officer who reached the rank of General during the war with Mexico. He had several notable victories against superior forces and won numerous medals. These successes elevated him to national fame and eventually inflicted the presidency on him.
Taylor was apolitical and did not vote. He was a Southerner who owned slaves but he opposed both the expansion of slavery into the territories and the idea that the South should ever secede over the slavery issue.
Taylor opposed the protective tariff and the creation of a national bank. He was also highly skeptical of the war with Mexico that had made him famous. These policies put him in conflict with both major parties, the Whigs and the Democrats.
Taylor did not want the presidency, nor seek it. When asked about becoming president he wisely responded, “Such an idea never entered my head, nor is it likely to enter the head of any sane person.”
He reluctantly accepted the nomination of the Whig Party to be their presidential candidate, but it is possible, and perhaps probable, that he didn’t even vote in his own election.
He resisted giving patronage jobs and avoided interactions with Congress as much as possible.
Taylor did not believe the president should be involved in creating legislation. He also thought the president should only veto measures that were clearly unconstitutional.
After doing as little harm as possible President General Zachary Taylor died after only sixteen months in office. This was the third shortest term of any president.
The second best U.S. President is…James A. Garfield
Garfield was an intelligent soldier and scholar. He favored civil service reform because of the corruption caused by patronage appointments. This stance got him killed by an assassin’s bullet. He had very little time to harm anyone because he served for only 6 months and 15 days, the second shortest term in history.
The first best U.S. President is…William Henry Harrison
He contracted pneumonia during his inauguration speech and died of it 31 days later, having had no time or energy to harm anyone. This makes him the greatest U.S. president of all time.
If you want more of this kind of stuff please subscribe!
Copyright © Perry Willis 2024
Perry Willis is the co-founder of Downsize DC and the Zero Aggression Project. He co-created, with Jim Babka, the Read the Bills Act, the One Subject at a Time Act, and the Write the Laws Act, all of which have been introduced in Congress. He is a past Executive Director of the national Libertarian Party and was the campaign manager for Harry Browne for President in 2000.
